Goal of my blog…

I don’t want to be a famous person by writing blogs. If anyone read my blog I will be happy. But I don’t want to reveal myself or getting sympathy from people.Sometimes I feel suffocated in my home and I can’t go outside to get some fresh air.That time I want to write something and blogging is the best option. No one will judge me here…

Come back to my own world….

Today I am feeling like ..come back to my own world… I missed my blog site terribly…Actually I was mentally so disturbed that I had deleted my account by mistake. But the WordPress authority help me to get back my account. I am really thankful to them. Now I am very happy. I will start my story again.

Most heartbreaking events of life….

I am writing Sofia’s story from her point of view.And of course like a coin, every story have two sides.People around Sofia’s life also have their own motives respectively. But it is impossible here to know all thinking of them.  It is not possible to judge each person’s way of thinking.As a human being there may be some unintentional mistake done by me. I am really sorry for that. But this story is true.And my almighty only know that. It’s not an imaginary creation…..                                          By the way, get started again… Sofia was a very simple girl.She had some dream up to 2012(or 2010!!! When the evil started to show his true colors).After that her thinking about life was completely changed.She became tensed about her future.She was trying to make her life meaningful.I have already mentioned that, Sofia was a college teacher from 2013 to 2015.After that she tried her best to get a job according to her qualification. But she was failed due to some practical reasons. Here it is not possible to describe everything exactly. Moreover, sometimes all reason behind of a decision or activity seems to be unrealistic. Few people maybe said that, there is always alternatives for us.In Sofia’s case,it maybe said that, she could do any kind of job,though she couldn’t get her preferred job like university teacher. But she had her own reason.It was very close to the word ‘impossible’ for an educated and ambitious girl like Sofia to stop trying for a job and taking decision to shift at abroad. But she was really helpless.Actually her situation made her hopeless.In Sofia’s town, it was very natural to get married for girls, which I already mentioned.It was more than a custom.As Sofia was that society’s part, so her planning to get married and shifting to another country was not a crime or unusual wish of her.There was one option for Sofia to be a normal girl of the society and that was not to remain single!!!Sofia was a self conscious person. She wanted a normal life.So after the incident of 2012,she again gave chance to her family for her marriage.And this was a terrible mistake !!That phase is the most heart breaking for her.   From 2012 to 2018,Sofia don’t know how many proposals were sent for her and her parents compelled her to face these peoples. All these years, sometimes Sofia was agreed to confront the groom’s family for her selfish reason. She wants to be happy. She wants to get away from the devil man.She wants to protect herself… Sometimes she was too much tired and disappointed but her parents compelled her emotionally to did that.She was tensed about her parents respect and about the future of her three younger sister and brothers.

Playing game with one’s emotion….

After 2012,many marriage proposals were sent for Sofia.As a person of conservative muslim community, Sofia had to lose her dignity because of the incident of 2012.Sofia’s one close friend,named Lima warned her that, this incident would must affect her future. So her family should be careful. But in reality this was not happening. Sofia was pretty enough. She had a great image in her department.Few teacher of her university also sent marriage proposals for Sofia. One of them was very good looking and rich.He was very popular to the department. Many girls were great fans of him. But Sofia’s family rejected him.According to them,his lineage is not right. Can anyone believe this??? Sofia was unaware of this fact then. She came to  know about it after few years later.It is interesting to write, after 3/4 years Sofia’s family liked a person as for Sofia’s groom,who was actually from a very low lineage. In Sofia’s community,decent people don’t want to get their daughter married to them. How can people’s mentality changed so quickly??? Actually playing games with Sofia’s emotion was just starting at that time.

Life after the shocking incident…

After 2012 and the incident, gradually all things move forward. Sofia’s elder brother left for Australia with his wife and girl. Her sister was busy with her family. And her parents were relaxed as usual.Sofia was trying to get a job.But without any influential person’s request it was impossible to get a respectable job.In 2013,her own university select lecturer for her subject. She went to the university and collect form for the exam.But to get the job one needs an influential person’s(like a minister of the government) request also.Before this,may be before 7/8 months ago a powerful minister had visited Sofia’s house.His request was required for the job.When Sofia told her father to asked the minister, he was not agreed. According to him, it is not necessary for getting a job!!To him,if he asked the minister, it will be insulting for him.But unfortunately it was the basic rule and this process is still common here to get university job.Sofia was failed to understand him.How can a daughter convinced her father who didn’t want to understand!!And surprisingly he was an educated person!!! It is still a great mystery to Sofia!!!Sofia also tried hard to get job to other private universities but all her efforts was meaningless without anyone’s request. Some girls are so smart that they got job by themselves. But for this,they sacrifice their dignity. Lot of girls are also betrayed by doing so.Sofia was not so smart.She had not the courage also. It was impossible for her to sacrifice her self respect.It was impossible to change one’s childhood perspective suddenly.Family like Sofia’s,always teach the girls from girlhoods that, never to compromise with character or dignity. Sofia was disappointed.It was her dream to be a teacher in her own department. She worked so hard for it.She missed lots of joyous occasion for the study. She also ignored her health,beauty for study.But all her dream shattered. She promised herself, she will never asked her father for such purposes again.Anyhow, at the end of 2013,Sofia got a job at a college.She was happy but also frightened for herself.Because of the wrongdoings of the evil. At 2009 or 2010,he stole Sofia’s mobile and Sofia was not aware of that. Then he sent unethical, heinous messages to her all friends. Next morning Sofia came to know about this. Some of her friend informed her because they all were astonished. Sofia didn’t understand who did it.She had no proof. But she was getting suspicious about that man.Before this incident, at 2009 or 2010,he was a very nice person to all!!One day, Sofia was ill due to her headache. As a doctor he gave medicine. That time he was like a brother to Sofia. She took the medicine. Actually it was not a medicine for headache, it was some kind of drug. Which was used on human to make them unconscious to some extent.After that doctor can bring out the hidden thoughts from the patient by questioning!! May be he wanted to know about Sofia’s boyfriend, love affairs etc and her thinking about him or his brother!!!After taking the medicine he asked some questions also.But Almighty saved her from that devil because that time her younger sister came to her room as an angle.She was only 11/12 years old then.But Sofia’s mother and elder sister was not concerned about her!!!Sofia wants to get rid from all of this selfish and filthy people around her.So from 2012 Sofia had started to avoid him and stop talking with him.Whenever he came to Sofia’s house,there was some kind of uneasiness for him due to Sofia. Then he started to sent rubbish messages to Sofia from several unknown numbers. Sofia was very embarrassed and frightened. This was too much unusual to her. Her brain stopped to work.In her entire life, she never seen such messages. He also sent threatening message, like kidnapping, thrown acid on face etc.That time Sofia had not the courage to show the messages to police.She didn’t get the confidence from her family.Reporting to the police was a huge matter to girl like Sofia. It is always easy to say that ‘you were wrong that period of time… You should do it..etc..etc’.But it is not that easy. Though it is right to say, emotional fool,like Sofia destroy her life unintentionally not to take the proper steps at the right time. People like her always think about others instead of own self. They can easily forget the wrongdoings by her family members.In the case of Sofia,it was tough to identify the real reason,why she didn’t took any step that time. At present Sofia feels very, very guilty not to punish that evil!!Now she had the courage.But it takes too much time. Actually she got the courage from her past experience. Now her thinking is totally changed.Anyway, at 2013 Sofia joined to the job.Her college was far away from her home. And the route to the college was very still and silent. Anyone can easily causes harm to a girl. Sofia was travelling all alone. She was serious about her responsibility towards the students. She worked hard for that job.But on the contrary, she received too much less salary. She did the job for 2 years with anxiety and fear.After that,she lost her this part time job due to the joining of permanent teachers of the department after finishing their higher study to abroad.

Sofia’s health issue

Sofia is a beautiful girl. But she had some health problem.And this was started at her college life.Sofia had an irregular menstruation problem. She went to the gynecologist with her mother.Doctor advised them to keep this topic hidden from friends and others. Because it might caused problems in future life. Because some people’s have the habit to change actual truth and defames one. Sofia frequently visited that doctor with her mother.And according to the doctor,it was very important for Sofia to get married as early as possible. And after 30,it will be tough for her to conceive baby. Her health condition was not so normal like others.Even the doctor once scolded Sofia’s mother when she came to know that Sofia’s elder sister got married and Sofia was at the last semester of her Master degree. Doctor said to her mother, Sofia can study after marriage but if she can’t conceive at future, it could be a threat for her conjugal life.Sofia can’t change the norms and traditions of her society. She can’t bring revolution to her conservative,Muslim society. Education is important but for a girl in this type of society ,marriage is very important to lead a normal life. The doctor was too much furious that day!!!Sofia’s mother know this but she was silent like always. At 2012(may be at the month of January or February), Sofia visited that doctor. The gynecologist did some tests on Sofia. All her problems were written on the prescription. After returning from doctor, Sofia’s mother asked her to show the report to her sister’s husband as he is a doctor but he was not a gynecologist. Sofia knew it very well. More over, she was not comfortable to share such personal things with brother- in-law. She strictly forbidden her mother. Despite this, she had shown the report to him. And he got to know everything.When Sofia learned about this, she was very angry on her mother.Apart this she had nothing to do!!Is it possible to punish parents for their grave mistake?But sometimes their one mistake can destroy one’s life.And later they didn’t admitted that.Sofia’s mother and elder sister only know about her problem.After that day,evil man was informed about it .So as a outsider, this evil man was the only person to be aware of the fact. So Sofia was totally confident about the criminal. And that evil man was responsible for broke up her alliance and he did it through such a disgusting way!!Sofia firmly believe on Almighty and her destiny.After this shocking incident, she had tried her best to forget everything. She tried to accept her destiny.As an educated and modern person, she can’t shed tears all through her life for that coward american guy!!! But what about her mother. What she did was not Sofia’s destiny. Why she had shown the report to the evil in spite of Sofia’s disallowance.After the shocking incident, Sofia’s family was only discussing about the real culprit. They couldn’t understand who were responsible for it.Sofia’s sister shut her mouth.When Sofia told everyone about that evil,they were shocked. That moment the evil person started his fake fight with his wife. And as usual Sofia’s parents put their priority on their first daughter!! They were busy to settled their daughter’s house.This drama continued for few days. All forgot Sofia and her grief. All were busy with their own life. After some days, the groom and his family left the country. Sofia lost her best friend shila forever. Because Sofia was feeling very embarrassed to face shila and her husband. Especially when they know about Sofia’s personal health issue. Shila also feeling guilty. After all she had brought the proposal for Sofia. Shila knows it very well how emotional Sofia was!! But her family members were totally failed to provide any kind of mental support.Wasn’t it heart breaking??

The Evil…

Sofia had an elder sister. She was two years older than her.They were very close to each other. They were like friend rather than sister. Both of them shared everything related to their life. In her lonely childhood, Sofia had some amazing memories with her siblings, especially with her elder sister and brother.Sofia’s sister was an engineer.She got married to a doctor at 2009.Suppose his name is x.He is such a filthy man that I don’t want to mention his name. I just hate that evil person.Anyway,Sofia and her family was very happy that time.Mr x seemed very polite and well behaved person!! All the family members were happy and welcomed him as a family member.Sofia also treated him like her elder brother. She never done anything disrespectful things to him. In Sofia’s society, some girls tends to be more cosy to their brother- in-law for own benefits. May be for more gifts or for other reasons, but I don’t want to discuss this topic here.And I know all girls are not same.And of course Sofia is not any kind of GOD!She is a human being. It is necessary to mention that, till now Sofia don’t do anything unethical consciously.But as a human, she had some flaws.She also made some mistakes in her life.To her,self respect was always very important.So it was impossible for her to do something unusual things for personal motive,especially in the case of her brother in law.From 2009 to 2012 Sofia’s family was totally busy with their elder daughter and son in law. In 2011 their daughter gave birth to a son. (He is such an angle!!).In all these years, Sofia’s family never talked about Sofia’s future. Time was running. So she was getting aged. Her friends always talked about her marriage. But she had nothing to say.Some of her friends also became parents.Sofia was tensed about her future. But she had faith on her parents. Sofia also believed that nothing can change her destiny,which is already wrote by the almighty. In student life, Sofia was a sincere student.After completing her post graduation, she was too much tired. Their department always put so much pressure on students, especially on good students. In her university life, she tends to be awake most of the night for study!So Sofia thought that, for some time she will take rest.Then she will start up her career as a teacher. She was dreaming for higher study outside the country. There was very limited opportunity for Sofia to be a teacher in her city.She can applied to her own public university and other 2/3 private universities.But to get those job,especially in private universities, one should have personal connection or influence of money or rich father. Sofia thought that at right time her father will help her.After all she was a good student.In the past, her father helped lot of people to do good result or job purpose. So she was waiting for her result. At 2011 her result was published. She tried a lot to get a job but she was failed. Her parents were busy with their daughter. They have no dream for Sofia. They didn’t help to get a job for her. She was depressed. She couldn’t share this things with her friends because she didn’t want to make her family funny. She thought that, she will start her higher education outside the country.But it was impossible to go outside the country alone.Because here well cultured girls went to abroad with their husband!! But Sofia’s parents were not serious about her marriage also. She was feeling suffocated due to her family and of course due to her surroundings and society.In these years when any marriage proposals were sent for Sofia, her parents took decision with their son in law. They never asked Sofia’s opinion. They were just busy!! They always asked Sofia to do work for them.That evil man was like a king.He visited so frequently Sofia’s house with so many things for everyone. And guess what!They were happy. They thought he was very caring. But all this things were just his drama. In that time,especially at the beginning, Sofia thought that her sister’s husband is a good person. But after some time she was suspicious of his motives. He wants to know the past life of her sister from Sofia. He also very curious about Sofia’s personal life and about her boyfriend,love affairs etc.Sofia was never comfortable to discuss this things with him. She always tend to be polite with him.She told him that she will never done anything which caused problems for her brother or sister in their married life. Indirectly she told him that it is not right to discuss anything about anyone’s past life. She also ignored him to share things about her personal stuff.She was totally clueless about his real motive. She thought that he will be a good and helping person like rest of her friend’s brother in law. But she was wrong. He was like an uneducated, savage typed person. He thought that he can control Sofia’s life also. He had the right to take the marriage decision for Sofia. Her choice is not so important!! Her education, her dream means nothing. As he married with the elder daughter of this family, he can do anything! And honesty speaking, he got the courage from Sofia’s parents. They gave him the courage to take decision for Sofia. Can you imagine this at the modern era? After so many years, may be at 2012/13 Sofia got to know something from her sister.She said her husband told her that he wants to get married his brother with Sofia. And that was the second day after their marriage. He came to Sofia’s family to get one free by married other!! Her mother and sister never told her about this. If sofia was informed about this before,the terrible incident of 2012 might not be occurred.That evil’s brother was not so eligible for Sofia. He was not well educated and he had not a good job also.Later he married a girl from small town.She barely completed her school. Anyway this is not my point.From 2009 to 2012,evil man continued his false drama. Sofia was scared due to her future and she was guessing something ,may be by her sixth sense!!That man was characterless also. On the one hand he tried to get married Sofia with his brother,but on the other hand he tried to cosy with her.Which were very unusual!!!And that was not needed for their relationship. Sofia was very concerned about herself from the very early age. She know how to protect herself from this filthy man.Sofia was lucky enough, that’s why she always able to protect herself from the evil. Sometimes he tried to describe his brother as a great guy in front of Sofia.Even Sofia was not interested to his brother.But Sofia never show any kind of arrogance.In spite of this,that man was getting angry from the core of his heart.At this point of time, Sofia’s friend Shila brought the proposal of an american guy. Sofia was really confused that time. She couldn’t share her problem with anyone. Because she had no proof.She only perceived things by her sixth sense,which is quite natural for girls. She also thought about her sister and her baby’s life.Sofia thought that once she left the country, all things will be okay. Especially her safety.When she met with the american boy,she was happy .She liked his personality. So she agreed for the marriage. After the first meeting, both family had decided for the engagement after two days. Sofia’s family agreed for the quick engagement because the guy was Sofia’s elder brother school friend.Here it is necessary to mention that,till today in a small town of Bangladesh, all girl’s parents don’t want to make the engagement ceremony so openly. Rather they prefer to get married that day in the presence of family members and later parents arranged a well organized function and invited all relatives. And this system is good for the bride. Because in Sofia’s society many people tried to break alliances due to jealously and enmity.Sofia’s one aunt was suffered badly for this type of incident in her life. But later her parents took sensible decision and sent her to England by getting married.And now she is happy. Here it is very tough to get married if the girl’s alliance once broke. Anyway, Sofia’s parents were ready to organized gorgeous engagement function without any second thought. They are not like other parents!!Lots of relatives were invited. When they invited that evil man, he told them that, if he joined the function, the alliance may be broke up.If this happened he will not responsible for it.After that they invited him!!!According to them,it was necessary for their elder daughter’s happiness. But what about Sofia?? She was listening everything and getting scared. But it was impossible to say anything in front of them. Because it was about Sofia’s marriage. It was wrong to say anything about marriage in front of parents and this is their culture!!At the day of engagement, Sofia was very happy. Her mother and sister were busy with themselves as usual. They had no time for Sofia. So Sofia was upset that day also. But she was happy. She went to the parlour and decked up.Sofia was a pretty girl.She was looking so beautiful that day!!I still remember it.At the evening, engagement ceremony was held.After the function the groom and his family left with a happy mood.Sofia’s friend took her phone number so that Sofia could talked with her future life partner. Sofia was delighted that day. After the happening of all past things, nobody was thinking about the evil man. He was busy with his game.After the leaving of all guests, Sofia got freshen up and went to sleep. She was thinking about her future life partner and waiting for his phone call.After some time, she fall asleep. She had a great sleep that night. Don’t know why!!At the morning when she got up,some people came from groom’s family and they said that the american guy was refusing to get married with Sofia. After lots of discussion they told that, from the morning he was not opening his door and refused for marriage. He was crying also!!He told that yesterday night a phone call came to him. A man threatened him that, if he got married here,he will abducted his sister and got murdered all of them. He also told that Sofia had a problem and she never be a mother.So he can’t took risk for an unknown girl.His family’s safety is more important.Sofia was getting extremely angry.She couldn’t understand how that guy broke up alliance on the basis of a phone call!!He was a coward. But from a practical point of view(I am not defending that boy or his family),normal people are not so great. Sofia was a new girl to them. More over, they were from America.And people from outside Bangladesh are easily get frightened ,which are very common. Beside this,the information about Sofia’s health problem was a great point. Though that was not fully correct. But they said that the phone call was made by a family member. So all allegations will be true. Honestly speaking, Sofia’s parents were not so interested to clear the misunderstanding.Even they were not went to the groom’s house. It seemed like that, they were free from something burdened on them.After the leaving of all guests, Sofia’s family started to guess who is the real culprit.Sofia’s sister also tried to guessed.But Sofia was very sure about the wrongdoer. She believed that she had no enemy. Only one person can do this and that is the evil. When Sofia told her sister about her husband’s wrong doings,at the beginning she was refusing to believe Sofia. But actually she know that her husband is the culprit. She had proof but she never told Sofia about this. May be she was a very selfish person and she tried to protect his husband and she only thought about herself and her baby’s future. Sofia means nothing to her.Actually I don’t know!!!! At the afternoon all the family members took their lunch and tasted all the items, which were made for the guests. They took desert also!! Sofia’s mother had not shed tears even.She gave sweets to her beloved daughter in law and her grand daughter. Sofia was astonished.Sofia’s parents were busy to attend the guests. Before this incident, Sofia was never harsh to the evil. She thought that if she misbehaved with the man,he might harm her. So she cleverly and sensibly tried to get secured herself. And according to her,without making any problem to anyone’s life it was best for her to left the country. But she was a stupid. Without family support how can she do it. There is nobody for her. At the evening, the evil came to Sofia’s house. And he pretended to be disheartened. He wanted to enter Sofia’s room to console her!!Sofia was totally changed that time. She was furious.She shut the door in front of his face. She decided from that moment, she will start to misbehave with the evil because he deserved it.Now she had no fear at all.He already made Sofia a laughing stock to the community. It was really very insulting for Sofia.

Ending of another dream… Ending of self confidence

After two months,I m writing again. Actually I was quite disturbed due to my surrounding atmosphere and my health issue. I also lost my energy and interest to write. But don’t know how, today I m here to share my story. Okay let get back to Sofia’s untold story.May be before two months, I was describing the event of 2012.That was the most wonderful and terrible year of Sofia’s life. Sofia was a very happy person till 2012.She had lots of dream for the future also.At the month of July, her friend,named shila sent a marriage proposal to Sofia’s house.Sofia already (at 2010) had completed her Master degree.And between this time period most of her classfriends got married.In Sofia’s society it is a norm to get married as early as possible after the completion of study. And all her friend’s parents were busy to get married their daughters. Moreover, in that society, after completing Master degree, girls were considered not so eligible as a bride.But though it was very important to think about Sofia’s marriage, her parents were too much relaxed.Many good proposals were sent for Sofia but unfortunately her parents were not interested.They rejected so many proposals without any valid reason. That time Sofia was quite close to her university friend Shila.Shila was very surprised after listening Sofia’s parents doings. Shila was much concerned for Sofia. She always told Sofia not to delay for marriage. Because with the time, Sofia will also get aged. And in Sofia’s society it is very tough to get proper life partner after 30 for girls.Most of the cousins and most of the acquainted girls of Sofia get married at early age,especially before 20/21.And that time Sofia was 28(at 2010) and moreover she was higher educated from the viewpoint of her society. Shila was continuously warning Sofia about her future. But Sofia had a great faith on her parents. She believed that they will never do anything wrong for her.But Sofia was totally wrong. She was a fool.Actually she was failed to understand her parents. They were just started to playing with her emotion. And that was the starting!! Anyway,from 2010 to 2012 the game was on!!At last after seeing Sofia’s uncertain future, shila and her husband had brought a good proposal for her. That would be groom was an educated man.He was from America.He was a police officer there. He lived there with his family. The family was educated and very rich.They were very curious about Sofia. Shila told them about Sofia and that made them curious. At the month of July (may be at the date of 5/6),the groom’s family came to Sofia’s house. And it was very surprising for Sofia. Because it was a new experience for her to met anyone for marriage purpose. It was her first meeting with a boy!!She was quite nervous. Sofia was never fond of the traditional arranged marriage system, especially the meeting between would be bride and groom.It was very awkward and pretty much scary for Sofia. She always prayed to almighty that she would confront such situation less in her life.And that was a very common process at arranged marriage. So she was helpless!! Sofia was lucky enough. At the first meeting the groom and his family liked her.Sofia was confused.At that time she was going through some weird situation. I can’t understand how to describe?I already wrote Sofia’s condition. It was important for her future to get married.Sofia prayed from bottom of her heart to left country by getting married. Because she was helpless. Every woman has sixth sense. When any nasty man try to do anything wrong with her, she can understand.Sofia was a sensitive girl.She was a self respecting person.She never do anything wrong in her life. She always lead an honest life and to do so,she also sacrificed lots of things but she was satisfied with her life. Getting married to that American guy was actually not Sofia’s wish but she was forced to do it for her better future and she took that tough decision only by herself.May be she had not that feelings for that man(his name was Mansoor).But the society pressure and something unusual things made her to take the decision. And the unusual things was created by an evil man.Sofia’s dream shattered because of this demon.

About parents…

Are parents our loved or hatred one?Are they so selfless?Are they always right?People always blamed children when they left their parents to old age home.But all children are not bad.From my own experience, I can say that parents are not always right. They are human being. So they can do mistakes.But in my society it is kind of forbidden type to accused parents for their mistakes. Even though, they make one’s life hell.According to my religion (Islam),after Almighty parents are our most respected one.I am not against my religion.I respect it from my bottom of the heart.But I couldn’t find answer sometimes!!!